Tag Archives: Shame

Shame

Jesus’ Ministry
January 30, 2019

Scripture Reading: Psalm 71:1-6

In you, O Lord, I take refuge;
   let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness deliver me and rescue me;
   incline your ear to me and save me.
Be to me a rock of refuge,
   a strong fortress, to save me,
   for you are my rock and my fortress. –Psalm 71:1-3

Shame: a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety in one’s own behavior or position or in the behavior or position of a closely associated person or group*

Shame is a painful emotional response triggered by either actual guilt at wrongdoing or our accepting the judgment of others regarding our worth.  I am not sure we can control the immediate reaction of shame, but we need to learn to let it go as it can become a debilitating reality in our lives that prevent us from reaching our fullest potential.

Rather than investing our energies in shame, when we have wronged another or not met our responsibilities, we need to own our behavior and target our energies toward repair and restoration of the situation.

There is another aspect of shame though that may be more damaging, and I think it may be what the Psalmist is suggesting in our scripture above. We each need to understand that we are all children of God and there is nothing anyone else can do to change that status. We have a serious problem of bullying in our society today. College students are dying trying to live up to the warped standards of some of their peers. We fail to care properly for those who suffer with mental illness. We define as outcasts people who do not follow our definition of normal. We assign unreasonable definitions to beauty.

In the words of Henri J. M. Nouwen we are all the beloved of God and we need to live into that reality with intentionality.

Prayer: Lord, forgive me when I have wronged others and help me repair those situations. Empower me to treat all people as God’s beloved. Amen.

*http://unabridged.merriam-webster.com/unabridged/shame

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Put No One to Shame

street-walkers--large-msg-131698045014Advent
November 25, 2015

Scripture Reading: Psalm 25:1-10

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in you I trust;
   do not let me be put to shame;
   do not let my enemies exult over me.
Do not let those who wait for you be put to shame;
   let them be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.  

Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
   teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth, and teach me,
   for you are the God of my salvation;
   for you I wait all day long. –Psalm 25:1-5

I have been following the trial of a police officer here in Oklahoma City in recent days accused of committing various sexual assaults, including rape, on 13 different women. All of the alleged victims have criminal records mostly prostitution and involvement with drugs. The allegations are that he not only sexually assaulted them but did so in exchange for not arresting them for real or fabricated crimes. Several of the victims never complained but came forward after one did. The primary reason for not coming forward was shame. Shame is defined as a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety in one’s own behavior or position or in the behavior or position of a closely associated person or group*. The defense in the case is highlighting the checkered past of each victim to question their veracity I suppose—more likely to taint the jury’s opinion of their worth.

I must tell you I have experience some shame as I followed this case. Why were there 13 women living in despair so vulnerable to the threats of the streets, in a city with about 600 Christian churches along with a sprinkling of mosques, Jewish congregations, and a variety of eastern religions? Are we perpetrators of their shame? Are we doing everything we can to assure that all in society have an equal chance to succeed?

Our responsibility as a society starts with at least the provision of adequate prenatal care; continues through quality health care and early childhood education, K through 12 educations, and job training; and living wages for all families so they can provide food, clothing, and shelter for themselves. We need to assure that every little girl, little boys too, can grow up to become healthy, whole adults with enough self-confidence and self-reliance to face their enemies and not be put to shame.

Prayer: Lord, guide us in shaping a society that provides the tools for all its people to become fully what You created them to be. Amen.

*http://unabridged.merriam-webster.com/unabridged/Shame

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized 
Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council 
of Churches of Christ in the United States of American. Used by permission. All rights 
reserved.

Shame

shame1Living in the Spirit
October 13, 2015

Scripture Reading: Joel 2:21-27

You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
   and praise the name of the Lord your God,
   who has dealt wondrously with you. And my people shall never again be put to shame.
You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel,
   and that I, the Lord, am your God and there is no other.
And my people shall never again
   be put to shame. –Joel 2:26-27

Is there shame in drought? Perhaps there is if it results from something of which we had control but surely not if it was not in our control. People have associated weather disasters to sin, however, for eons. I am sure that was true in the time of Joel. Jesus may have been one of the first to challenge this proposition when he said it rains on the just and the unjust. (Matthew 5:45) What purpose does shame serve?

Shame in some ways is an antitheses of justice. I have heard the definition of shame as guilt turned inward. This is based on an assumption that if bad is happening to you there must be something wrong with you. If we spend much time talking to someone who has been sexually molested, we often see this reaction. However, shame is associated with many behaviors and outcomes. Such shame results from societal messages that define states of being as bad to justify unequal treatments and policies. Think about shame associated with poverty.

Shame is not an acceptable reality within the parameters of the love of God and nothing else matters. When we have sinned, done something that separates us from God, God expects us to turn around from such behavior and be reconciled to God by asking for forgiveness. We are then expected to go about the business of living in God’s grace and fulfilling our call to serve. Neither can be accomplished if we are hindered by shame.

Prayer: Lord heal the wounds that remain with us that are resulting in shame and show us the ways we can end injustice that operates on the fuel of shame. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of American. Used by permission. All rights reserved.