Tag Archives: Marriage

Truths vs Customs

Living in the Spirit

June 30, 2020

Scripture Reading: Psalm 45:10-17
Hear, O daughter, consider and incline your ear;
   forget your people and your father’s house,
   and the king will desire your beauty.
Since he is your lord, bow to him;
   the people of Tyre will seek your favour with gifts,
   the richest of the people with all kinds of wealth.

The princess is decked in her chamber with gold-woven robes;
   in many-coloured robes she is led to the king;
   behind her the virgins, her companions, follow.
With joy and gladness they are led along
   as they enter the palace of the king.

In the place of ancestors you, O king, shall have sons;
   you will make them princes in all the earth.
I will cause your name to be celebrated in all generations;
   therefore the peoples will praise you for ever and ever.

Stunned would be the best word to describe my reaction to reading this scripture. I am sure I have read it before, but I do not remember it. I highly value the sacredness of marriage and do not think there are more essential roles in any society than being a mother or a father. I do not think the primary purpose of women is to have babies. I do not think children are chattel in the context of creating wealth for the estate. Indeed, in the culture of the Bible, children were a primary source of workers for the field. Thus the need to have many children and many wives was the norm. The mortality rate for babies was high. Cultural norms often grow out of real need. They remain beyond the need because that are adapted as customs or the way we have always done it.

I grew up on a farm, and everybody had their chores. The schools in my community closed for the harvest months in the summer, freeing up the students to work. We still operate statewide following that norm. Three months is a long time to retain what one learns in preparation for new learning. A few years ago, the Oklahoma City schools changed the schedule shortening the summer break. This resulted in culture shock even though we did not require harvest workers, nor did we have many urban students planning an agricultural-related career.

This scripture is an excellent example of Biblical teachings of several positive life lessons, the sanctity of marriage, and the need to prepare children for life as adults. And while it is educational to learn how such roles were implemented 7000 years ago, it does not mean we need to do them the same way today.

Prayer: Lord, help us glean the truths about your ways of being as we study how our ancestors lived and adapt our culture to those truths but not necessarily the customs. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Free Will

Jesus’ Ministry
January 15, 2019

Scripture Reading: Isaiah 62:1-5

You shall no more be termed Forsaken,
   and your land shall no more be termed Desolate;
but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her,
   and your land Married;
for the Lord delights in you,
   and your land shall be married.
For as a young man marries a young woman,
   so shall your builder marry you,
and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
   so shall your God rejoice over you. –Isaiah 62:4-5

As I read this scripture, I realized I have a skeptical view of marriage. That skepticism comes from a lot of observation and experience. I cannot image turning over all decision making about my life to someone else. In my younger days that was my observation of the reality of marriage.  I was taught that such an arrangement was biblically ordained by God.

I have a deep independent streak probably to a fault. It impacts my understanding of God. I strongly accept free will because I think God wants us to decide to love God and to decide to follow God’s guidance and accept God’s care as our decision. I have heard people talk about marriage being a 50/50 arrangement, but it is a 100/100 commitment where when sacrifices are made, they are made by choice. Marriage is modeled after our desired relationship with God. The primary difference is that in marriages either partner can on occasion fail to fulfill their full commitment resulting in the need for forgiveness and relationship renewal. In our relationship with God we on occasion experience commitment failure and must seek forgiveness and renewal, while God never fails.

This theological viewpoint also drives my stance regarding legislating morality. I do not think that making someone follow my definitions of morality helps their relationship or my relationship with God. God expects me to follow my understanding of God’s ways and adjust them as I grow in spirit and in truth. A part of that expectation is that I love my neighbor as I love myself which includes respecting their right to form their own relationship with God. Part of loving others is certainly sharing with them the importance of God’s love in my own life and encouraging them to explore knowing God and learning the wonder of God’s love.

God loves us so much God sent God’s son to model love for us and eventually sacrificed the son’s life in an expression of the depth of God’s love while still leaving the door opened for our choosing to accept God’s love.

Prayer: Thank you God for the breadth and depth of your love. Forgive us when we fall short of loving you with our lives and continuously engage with us as you help us grow in spirit and in truth. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.