Tag Archives: Loving Self

Loving Ourselves

Living in the Spirit

October 23, 2022

Scripture Reading:

Luke 18:9-14
He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: ‘Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.” But the tax-collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.’

Acting holier-than-thou or self-righteous is often the result of people not being comfortable in their own skin. The need to constantly prove that we are better than others tends to grow from not loving ourselves as a person of unique worth. The faith problem with that way of thinking is we cannot fully clasp the idea of loving our neighbors, all our neighbors if we do not love ourselves. Fully accepting ourselves as we are does not mean we do not need to dedicate ourselves to becoming fully the person God created us to be.

Many of the problems in our world today are based on our not loving ourselves enough to be who we can be. We may have received messages that we were inferior. I will never forget asking a judge to authorize our agency to remove children from their home because the children were being severely abused and neglected. The judge finally signed the order, handed it to me, and said, “That family has always been worthless, you are not going to change that but if you want to try go ahead.” I pondered as I left the office that they sure are not going to change if everyone thought as he did. I read in the paper several years later the story of a beloved policeman and all the wonderful things he had done for the community who had been killed in a car wreck. He was one of those children.

Prayer: Lord, help us look for the worth in ourselves and others so we all can model our lives after Christ’s. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Learning to Love Ourselves in the Right Way

Living in the Spirit

July 10, 2021

Scripture Reading: Mark 6:14-29

For Herod himself had sent men who arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because Herod had married her. For John had been telling Herod, ‘It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.’ And Herodias had a grudge against him, and wanted to kill him. But she could not, for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he protected him. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed; and yet he liked to listen to him. But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his courtiers and officers and for the leaders of Galilee. When his daughter Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests; and the king said to the girl, ‘Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it.’ And he solemnly swore to her, ‘Whatever you ask me, I will give you, even half of my kingdom.’ She went out and said to her mother, ‘What should I ask for?’ She replied, ‘The head of John the baptizer.’ Immediately she rushed back to the king and requested, ‘I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.’ The king was deeply grieved; yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he did not want to refuse her. Immediately the king sent a soldier of the guard with orders to bring John’s head. He went and beheaded him in the prison, brought his head on a platter, and gave it to the girl. Then the girl gave it to her mother. When his disciples heard about it, they came and took his body, and laid it in a tomb. –Mark 6:17-29

What was Herod thinking? The answer is he was not thinking, and his pride would not keep him from breaking his promise. How much of our lives are controlled by our instinctual desires that we probably cannot explain, and yet we let them guide our lives. I once went on a business trip with a group in an area awash with bargain shops and malls. Two of the participants spent every free moment of their time on that trip shopping. A couple of weeks later, I saw one of them and asked how she liked all the purchases she had made. She said she sent it all back. She wondered what she was thinking?

We can be critical of both the atrociousness of Herod’s acts and the flakiness of my friend’s behavior. We, however, must recognize that we have all done something similar.  I stay closely on my eating plan most of the time, but occasionally, I succumb to a cookie or worse. Sometimes there is nothing wrong with doing something silly on the spur of the moment, particularly if it does not hurt anyone, including ourselves. The problem arises when we do not know or try to deal with what needs we are trying to meet with our impulsive behavior, and that is important. Cookies or other self-indulgences do not cure loneliness, shame, fear, lack of self-esteem, or even boredom.  

God desires wholeness for each of us. We all have had events in our pasts or everyday things like the pandemic that chip away at loving ourselves—wanting the best for ourselves. Such experiences can raise their ugly heads in our lives and send us down paths not attuned to God’s ways of being. When we do not love ourselves, we cannot love others. Routinely, dealing with such issues Is the best way to remove them from our lives. Take a few minutes each day to think about your day. Identify the things that happened that brought you joy and events that brought you down.  If you find something that routinely haunts you, spend some time wondering why it has a hold on you. Let it go and asked God to fill its vacancy with God’s love providing the insight needed to overcome it.

Prayer: God, grant us the insight to clear the path for loving ourselves, which paves the way to love others. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Loving Each Other

Living in the Spirit
October 29, 2018

Scripture Reading: Ruth 1:1-8

In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land, and a certain man of Bethlehem in Judah went to live in the country of Moab, he and his wife and two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion; they were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there. But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. These took Moabite wives; the name of one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. When they had lived there for about ten years, both Mahlon and Chilion also died, so that the woman was left without her two sons or her husband. –Ruth 1:1-5

A Bible study group, in which I am involved, is studying the books of Ezra and Nehemiah. Of one thing I am sure from that study, Ezra and Nehemiah had no love for Moabites. They required the end of intermarriages between Israelites and all foreigners and specifically identified Moabites and Ammonites as outcasts. To say the least, they conveniently forgot that King David’s ancestors Ruth was a Moabite. Ezra supported his theology by referring to the Torah that records events before David was king. Apparently, he chose to ignore scriptures that encouraged welcoming strangers* and loving one’s neighbors**. Purity of heritage was vital in the minds of Ezra and Nehemiah. We who follow Christ must deal with these stories with the hindsight of the teachings of one who called us to welcome everyone.

Just as the post-exilic Israelites failed to benefit from these Torah based teachings, we today seem to be slipping toward similar mindsets regarding tribal superiority. Today I hear that a man was arrested for sending bombs in the mail to people representing a different political viewpoint than his. In Pittsburg, a man invades a Sabbath service in a synagogue killing and wounding several worshippers. I wonder if the problem is in the last part of the Jesus’ statement: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  (Matthew 22:39b) Why do people need to establish that they are better than others to feel good about themselves? Why can they not love themselves as children of God and celebrate everyone else loving themselves too? How do we share that message without further separation and division?

Prayer: Oh, God, our Father
Christ, our Brother
All who live in love are thine
Teach us how to love each other***. Amen

*See Exodus 23:9 and Leviticus 19: 33-34
**See Leviticus 19:9-18
***Last verse of Joyful, Joyful by John Mark Hall / Bernie Herms see at tps://www.google.com/search?q=teach+us+how+to+love+each+other+lyrics&oq=teach+us+to+love+each&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.6919j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.