Tag Archives: Empathy

Leaving the Familiar for a Strange New World

Living in the Spirit

July 27, 2021

Scripture Reading: Exodus 16:2-4, 9-15

The whole congregation of the Israelites complained against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness. The Israelites said to them, ‘If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots and ate our fill of bread; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.’

Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘I am going to rain bread from heaven for you, and each day the people shall go out and gather enough for that day. In that way I will test them, whether they will follow my instruction or not.

Then Moses said to Aaron, ‘Say to the whole congregation of the Israelites, “Draw near to the Lord, for he has heard your complaining.” ’ And as Aaron spoke to the whole congregation of the Israelites, they looked towards the wilderness, and the glory of the Lord appeared in the cloud. The Lord spoke to Moses and said, ‘I have heard the complaining of the Israelites; say to them, “At twilight you shall eat meat, and in the morning you shall have your fill of bread; then you shall know that I am the Lord your God.”’ –Exodus 16:2-4, 9-12

Once I worked with people receiving public assistance, helping them transition from dependence to being self-sustaining. One of the most significant challenges I faced was helping them deal with leaving the desperate situation in which they live for the scary new world of work and self-support. Many people denigrate the poor for their condition. How would you feel if you were without income or support systems like a family that will come to your rescue? Would you have the knowledge or strength to do what it takes to ensure your children have food to eat and clothing to wear? Can you imagine living in a family where no one ever worked?

The Israelites had been slaves for some 400 years, generations of a way of being that robbed them of all sense of self-sufficiency where they were dependent on their slave masters. Freedom was a scary proposition. It took forty years of wandering in the wilderness before these people were ready to follow Joshua into the Promise Land, at least two generations. As we attempt to address the wellbeing of the homeless and the poor, we must exercise some empathy before we, like Moses and Aaron, walk with them out of the wilderness, in which they find themselves.

Prayer: Lord, grant us the gift of empathy as we walk with those moving to self-sufficiency. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Refresh our Faith

Epiphany

January 8, 2021

Scripture Reading: Acts 19:1-7
While Apollos was in Corinth, Paul passed through the inland regions and came to Ephesus, where he found some disciples. He said to them, ‘Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you became believers?’ They replied, ‘No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.’ Then he said, ‘Into what then were you baptized?’ They answered, ‘Into John’s baptism.’ Paul said, ‘John baptized with the baptism of repentance, telling the people to believe in the one who was to come after him, that is, in Jesus.’ On hearing this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. When Paul had laid his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came upon them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied— altogether there were about twelve of them.

Who taught Paul about Jesus? How much of what Paul first picked up about Jesus was the hearsay around the temple when Saul/Paul as a youth studied under Gamliel. Saul/Paul was a Pharisee and probably received their viewpoint about Jesus. But where did he learn details like how John baptized? Did Ananias* share stories of Jesus’ ministry with Saul/Paul as he recovered from his experience on the road to Damascus?

How much of what we know about God is colored by the source of information we receive? Because of divisions among faith-based groups in our world today, I have felt the need to review my theology. N. T. Wright’s work on Worldviews has been most helpful to me. Studying the Gospels to ascertain how those closest to Jesus described his teachings and his actions caused me to reassess my way of being. During the past two years, I have invested time and energy in anti-racism work and discovered how important it is to attempt to see the world from the eyes of people whose life experiences have been totally different from mine.

As we turn the page on 2020 and move forward into 2021, I invite all to join me in searching for the source of our faith knowledge and discerning if what we take for granted in our belief systems stands the test of God’s love for all.

Prayer:
Open my eyes, that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.

Refrain 1:
Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready my God, Thy will to see,
Open my eyes, illumine me,
Spirit divine!** Amen

*The Christ-follower who took Saul in after his encounter with Christ on the road to Damascus.

**First verse and refrain of Open My Eyes, That I May See by Clara H. Scott. See at https://library.timelesstruths.org/music/Open_My_Eyes_That_I_May_See/

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Empathy

Living in the Spirit

August 12, 2020

Scripture Reading: Psalm 133
How very good and pleasant it is
   when kindred live together in unity!
It is like the precious oil on the head,
   running down upon the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
   running down over the collar of his robes.
It is like the dew of Hermon,
   which falls on the mountains of Zion.
For there the Lord ordained his blessing,
   life for evermore.

Truer words have never been written, and I do not recall a time in my life when discord has been higher. Of course, my life span is short compared to the history of God’s people. Reading scripture and history since the Bible was canonized, we see discord over and over again. Everybody is scared, but of what? Many feel threatened, but why? What is this dis-ease that overshadows our lives? How do we escape its grasp?

Jesus, I think, portrays a lot of empathy. Strange though it may sound, to be empathic, we must become more objective. We must try to see our fellow sojourners from their perspective, not our own. That requires us to shed the bias filters that we all have taken on from our families, life experiences, and education. We need to discern which of those filters are wrong and work to eliminate them from our being. We also must understand that those practices we favor that are not bad are not universal. Both actions of self-evaluation are hard to do because they are so much a part of who we are.

I will always be a person who grew up on a farm, knew the source of food from my earliest years, and that work had to be done often daily to maintain that food supply. My work ethic differs markedly from that of someone whose life experience taught them that food came from grocery stores bought by money earned from employment that had specified hours of working with some days off.  

I was taught to say please and thank you, respect authority, and expect other people to respect me. I do not ever recall my parents having “the talk” of how to go the extra steps of self-preservation when stopped by the police.  I have only been stopped by the police twice and was guilty both times. I got a warning ticket both times. The first time, I was breaking the speed limit. The other time, I had an expired tag. When the policemen stopped me for the tag, it was laying on the passenger seat of my car. He saw it and said somewhat sarcastically, “You know you are supposed to put that on your vehicle.” I assured him I would. I cannot imagine being stopped for being white in the wrong part of town. Empathy does not come easy and requires intentionality until it becomes a natural part of our being. I think that may only happen when we allow the Holy Spirit to open our hearts to love one another completely.

Prayer: Lord, Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin*. Amen

*Psalm 51:2

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Developing Empathy

March 12, 2020

Scripture Reading: Romans 5:1-11

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. –Romans 5:1-5

First, let me be clear, I do not believe anyone should suffer through child abuse or domestic abuse or any kind of oppression for the purpose of developing endurance or character. Hope is not a destination it is the driving force to positive outcomes. We are all called to break the chains of oppression however and whenever we can.

That said we all suffer to one degree or another and how we deal with suffering defines us in many ways.  I was told at the age of 50 that my left knee needed to be replaced but at that time the protocol was not to do such surgery until the patient was 60 except in rare cases. So, I limped around for ten years using a cane, gaining a lot of weight that made matters worse, and becoming an expert in pain management.  About the time I turned 60 the protocol was changed as implants had been improved. I did have the surgery on my left knee, and it made a major difference in my life. What I learned through that process is that suffering does produce endurance. The pain from the surgery was less than the routine pain to which I was accustomed, and the pain from surgery soon went away.

Our life experiences dictate how we view others. We project our experiences on others for better or for worse. Yet we can never know the pain others have or understand fully the things in their background that foster their responses to life challenges. Empathy is an art not a science. Trying to see the world from another person’s perspective requires us to set aside the filters of our being to help us understand another’s driving forces. We cannot magically erase their past anymore than we can ours. We can walk along beside them and support them in building the hope they need to thrive.

Prayer: God of Grace and Mercy, grant us the gift of empathy as we work toward a world ruled by love. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Become My Salvation

Lent
April 17, 2019

Scripture Reading: Psalm 118:1-2, 14-24

The Lord is my strength and my might;
   he has become my salvation. –Psalm 118:14

From what do I need to be saved? The world “salvation” loses meaning as it incapsulates a universal view without drilling down to specifics. That often plays out in whether one is destined for heaven or expelled to hell, which does not help a lot in the present situation. Drilling down into the depths of our relationship with God, discovering the shredded threads of our lives that separate us from God can and will provide the basis for repairing torn places in our souls.

I must start with myself for we must learn to love ourselves before we can ever love our neighbors as they need to be love. I like the illustration of the instructions we receive after boarding an airplane. A steward says something to the effect that if an emergency arises requiring the use of oxygen and we are seated next to someone who needs help accessing the oxygen masks, we are to first put on our masks because we would be no help to someone if we faint from lack of oxygen before we get the other person connected.

Becoming aware of our faults or sins or whatever we want to call them, seeking forgiveness, and turning away from continuing negative ways is not the only examination needed. We also need to become aware of our patterns of living that may be appropriate for us but may not be for another. We limit our ability to love these others if we can only love them when they are willing to become like us. I was born into a family with a strong work ethic and it seems to work well for my family. Others may not share in that cultural trait and their ideas about work may differ markedly from mine. I would have just as much difficulty changing my work ethic as they have changing their understanding of work. Until I understood that I was not able to help people who were never taught the value of work to learn to live in a world that expected them to be self-supportive.

Our wholeness is paramount to attaining the oneness to which Christ calls us. Our wholeness together in Christ’s oneness is the foundation of God’s justice.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for sending Jesus to be a plumb line against we can assess our wholeness. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Empathy

Epiphany
January 6, 2019

Scripture Reading: John 1:1-14

He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him. He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him. But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.

  And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth. –John 1:10-14

Years ago, Star Trek did several shows about a guy, I think they called Q, who had many superhuman powers. He, for some reason, I do not remember, agreed to function on earth without using his extra powers and had a great deal of trouble adapting to a world where he could not revise everything around him to meet his way of being. The character seems to be exploring a very offbeat view of Jesus, not very agreeable, certainly not gregarious or kind and loving.  The show challenged my thinking. Made me realize that God had a purpose in sending Jesus as a baby. It is a whole lot easier to learn culture from an early age. Starting as a child made Jesus more vulnerable to the things that tempt all humans and lead us astray. On the other hand, it also assures that one experiences the full set of emotions like fear and anger, love and disappointment without avoiding them by way of some superpower.

How much effort do we put into understanding what it means to live in poverty or live the life of a person of a different color or come to the realization that we are sexually attracted to someone of our same-sex or be rigidly paralyzed unable to care for ourselves? Jesus developed into a person with utmost empathy withholding judgment. Perhaps that is why he drew the assignment of Judge, he was born to impartiality.

We are called to follow Jesus’ example but like Q we have been steeped in preconceived ideas about what is normal and what is not and sometimes, for what reason I do not know, we mistreat those we classify as different.  To follow in the footsteps of Jesus, we must first lay all of those ideas before God and let God filter out that which is harmful to others while filling us with God’s grace, enabling us to love with empathy withholding judgment like Jesus.

Prayer: Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Amen,
(Psalm 51:10)

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Perfect in Weakness

Living in the Spirit
July 6, 2018

Scripture Reading: 2 Corinthians 12:2-10

Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given to me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.  –2 Corinthians 12:7b-10

What does the sentence “power is made perfect in weakness” mean? I see at least three possible interpretations. Personal weakness can be a source of empathy. I cannot reach the top shelf in the grocery store become I am short. Am I more apt to see the child or person in a wheel chair trying to reach an item that is easily accessible to me? Empathy is not automatically a result of weakness, but it can be. People who are also fully capable of reaching the top shelf can have empathy too and they may just by nature be emphatic. We also all can learn empathy. Lack of the ability to see the consequences others experience that we do not is a major source of what is dubbed “white privilege.”

The second possible interpretation is that our weaknesses build the fortitude to surpass our ability to achieve what seems impossible. When I worked at a children’s hospital, I was assign the amputee clinic. There was a teenage boy, basketball star, who had lost a leg in a farming accident. He was determined to continue playing basketball. I do not know who had the more determination to make that happen the youth or the representative from the prosthetic company trying to devise a limb that would make it possible. This was in 1975 and that company finally created a limb that worked which was the forerunner of the amazing work being done now.

The third interpretation is the foundation of the other two. Our weaknesses teach us how to trust in God, in others, and in ourselves.

Prayer: Lord, free us from any bitterness that might overcome us because of our weaknesses, open us to all the possibilities of empathy, fortitude, and trust that stem from those weaknesses. Amen

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Empathy

Living in the Spirit
June 24, 2018

Scripture Reading: Mark 4:35-41
On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side.’ And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. A great gale arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?’ And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?’

Eighty Niner Day was a big deal in Oklahoma when I was a child. It celebrated allowing people to race into the unassigned lands in Oklahoma territory to claim a 160-acre homestead. It was designated as unassigned because it was the only land left in the territory that was not assigned to various Indian tribes. The run as it was called was celebrated in Guthrie the original capitol of Oklahoma with a big parade, carnival, and rodeo. One year our whole family, as well as one of my aunt’s family, attended the parade and rodeo but it was decided my parents would take the two boys who were older to the evening festivities and my aunt would take her two younger daughters and my sister and me to her home. Shortly after arriving at her house a huge storm struck the farm on which my aunt lived, and she hastens we four girls to the cellar where many Oklahomans take shelter from possible tornados.  We girls went to sleep but were awakened a few hours later by my father knocking on the cellar door. We climbed up and out to a beautiful night sky filled with stars. My father teased his sister, my aunt about being a scaredy cat, she said, “You were not here.” No storm had struck Guthrie some 30 miles away.

We never know what life realities others face or how their reactions might be driven by their histories. My father knew his younger sister was scared and his teasing was his way of changing her focus, lightening the situation. Jesus recognized the disciples were afraid and while he told them they did not need to be afraid he also calmed the sea of torment.  We too are called to reassure people that God is always with them and provide them with solutions to illustrate that reality.

Prayer: Lord, make us empathic about the realities of others so that we may help alleviate their troubles. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Empathy

Lent
March 25, 2018

 Scripture Reading: John 12:12-16

The next day the great crowd that had come to the festival heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, shouting,
Hosanna!
Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord—
   the King of Israel!’
Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it; as it is written:
‘Do not be afraid, daughter of Zion.
Look, your king is coming,
   sitting on a donkey’s colt!’
His disciples did not understand these things at first; but when Jesus was glorified, then they remembered that these things had been written of him and had been done to him.

My little hometown had an Easter pageant every year when I was a child. All three of the churches in the town participated and every child that wanted a part had a part. Of course, the major roles were filled by the older teens and some young adults. My first part when I was about nine or ten years of age was to wave a palm branch and shout “Hosanna! Blessed is the One who comes in the Name of the Lord.” My other part that first year was to stand in the crowd when Jesus stood before Pilate and call out, “Crucify Him! Crucify Him! Release Barabbas.” I think being included in that crowd was a life-changing experience. I got a feel for the masses losing control without being in an actual riot. I got a feeling for what was going through the Disciples minds as they observed both scenes. The first scene was easy; learned what acting was doing the second.

Putting ourselves in the roles of others is a good practice particularly any other for whom we hold some prejudice.  Having worked in public welfare for years, I grew weary of people telling me what worthless people welfare recipients were when I knew the complainers had little or no knowledge of public assistance recipients’ reality. Their jawing worked as there is little invested by our government today in helping people out of poverty. Most of the programs that do exist like food stamps, child care supplements, and Medicaid are wage supplements for businesses who do not or cannot pay a living wage.

Throughout Jesus’ ministry he understood people, he had great empathy. That last week he took on the weight of all our needs and desires, all our failures and the times we missed the mark and forgave us. He healed our souls and set in motion his plan for all people to live through his love. We have the privilege to work with him on that plan’s implementation.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the depth of your love. Forgive us when we fall short of our part in implementing your plan. Guide us back on track. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Empathy

Living in the Spirit
October 26, 2017

Scripture Reading: 1Thessalonians 2:1-8

You yourselves know, brothers and sisters, that our coming to you was not in vain, but though we had already suffered and been shamefully maltreated at Philippi, as you know, we had courage in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in spite of great opposition. For our appeal does not spring from deceit or impure motives or trickery, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the message of the gospel, even so we speak, not to please mortals, but to please God who tests our hearts.
–1 Thessalonians 2:1-4

The quote, Preach the Gospel always and when necessary use words*, is needed as much now as ever. Our deeds matter and often speak louder than our words. Words are important too. Words can tear down, and words can lift up. Those of us who identify as Christian define Christ to others through our words and deeds just as Paul did. Empathy seems a lost art. In a diverse world we must invest the time to learn how what we do and what we say impacts the other. What might be comforting to me might cause pain to someone else.

When I arrived at an elder Pawnee woman’s home to update her case information many years ago, I found her making the most beautiful beaded baby moccasins. She said they were for her new grandbaby. There were beads across the toes that extended the length of the bottom of the tiny booty. I commented on the quality of her work and wondered if she would make some that I could buy. She was silent for a moment, finally replying, “You do not want moccasins like these. The beads on the bottom tell that my grandson will never walk on the earth. These are for his burial.” She was kind and understanding of my ignorance and she taught me the importance of empathy.

Prayer: Lord, open our hearts to glimpses of the world from the viewpoint of the people we encounter. Help us be conduits of your love as we serve in your name. Amen.

*Often attributed to St. Francis, but the author is unknown. Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/u/unknown109569.html

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.