Tag Archives: Self Examination

Self Examination

Living in the Spirit

September 19, 2022

Scripture Reading: Jeremiah 32:1-3a, 6-15

And I bought the field at Anathoth from my cousin Hanamel, and weighed out the money to him, seventeen shekels of silver. I signed the deed, sealed it, got witnesses, and weighed the money on scales. Then I took the sealed deed of purchase, containing the terms and conditions, and the open copy; and I gave the deed of purchase to Baruch son of Neriah son of Mahseiah, in the presence of my cousin Hanamel, in the presence of the witnesses who signed the deed of purchase, and in the presence of all the Judeans who were sitting in the court of the guard. In their presence I charged Baruch, saying, Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Take these deeds, both this sealed deed of purchase and this open deed, and put them in an earthenware jar, in order that they may last for a long time. For thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Houses and fields and vineyards shall again be bought in this land. –Jeremiah 32:9-15

Jeremiah bought some land. He was given the first opportunity to buy it because he was related to the owner, and he did buy it. So what? Would we invest in land offered to us when all signs lead to the land being seized by an enemy? Would we be interested in buying a bombed-out home located in a part of Ukraine that has been seized by Russia right now?

Jeremiah was investing in his faith. He believed that God would rescue his people. He believed that at some point he would return to his land and dig up the deed he had buried starting the rebuilding of Israel. Most people long for peace. The great challenge is living in peace where everyone has enough to survive and work toward thriving. The gods of greed and lust for power must be thwarted if we are to live into such a vision of a beloved community, the Kingdom of God. Such a reality starts with each of us examining ourselves to see where the evils of greed and lust for power have seeped into our being and are so much a part of our lives that we do not recognize them as abnormal. I see that in my attempt to recycle. Why do I keep buying stuff made of plastic in the first place? What could Israel have done in the first place that would have strengthened their beloved community to withstand the evil that overtook it?

Prayer: Lord, help us to see ourselves more clearly so that we might serve thee more nearly. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Beholding God’s Likeness

Living in the Spirit

July 28, 2020

Scripture Reading: Psalm 17:1-7, 15
Hear a just cause, O Lord; attend to my cry;
   give ear to my prayer from lips free of deceit.
From you let my vindication come;
   let your eyes see the right.
If you try my heart, if you visit me by night,
   if you test me, you will find no wickedness in me;
   my mouth does not transgress.
As for what others do, by the word of your lips
   I have avoided the ways of the violent.
My steps have held fast to your paths;
   my feet have not slipped.
I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God;
   incline your ear to me, hear my words.
Wondrously show your steadfast love,
   O saviour of those who seek refuge
   from their adversaries at your right hand.
As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;
   when I awake I shall be satisfied, beholding your likeness.

If you have read many of my posts, you have realized that I am big on self-examination guided by the Spirit. It is an attempt to see how closely my self-assessment matches God’s assessment of me. Thus, if God examines me, will God find no wickedness, no transgression, no violence, or no wavering from God’s straight and narrow path? I think if God handed me a checklist scoring these items, I might be surprised at the results. God looks at the heart according to 1 Samuel 16:7. We must account for evil thoughts because when we do not clean out those thoughts, they can grow and overtake our hearts.

I just finished reading the book Rush by Stephen Fried. It is a great historical read. More than that, it is the history of a man dealing with the good and evil occurring in the USA during the Revolutionary era and the positive influences he had on society at that time. In the final analysis, we must live our lives so that we can face God in God’s righteousness, not our own.

Prayer: Lord, we are barraged with bad things happening to good people, with the failure of our society to turn things to your righteousness. We are called to be a part of your vision of creating a world ruled by love, yet we get so caught up in the webs of evil we sometimes lose sight of the positive differences we can make. Grant us the courage to follow your way and help us to identify any aspects of our lives that are contributing to the chaos. Create in us clean hearts to do your service. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Identifying God in Our Lives

Advent

December 23, 2019

Scripture Reading: Isaiah 63:7-9

I will recount the gracious deeds of the Lord,
   the praiseworthy acts of the Lord,
because of all that the Lord has done for us,
   and the great favor to the house of Israel
that he has shown them according to his mercy,
   according to the abundance of his steadfast love. –Isaiah 64:7

I am not much on new year’s resolutions, but I think the end of the year is a good time to take stalk of where I have been and where I want to go from here. For some reason I do not throw paper away in a timely manner. I really have tired to develop the habit of reading something one time, deciding if I need to keep it, filing it if it is a keeper and trashing it if not, but I just cannot seem to do that. An annual clearance of these papers is my final resort. I do not know how many scrap pieces of paper I find that has a telephone number on it with no name. Those are easy to throw away at the end of the year. Most likely it is a number I wrote down, used immediately, and thought I should put it in my contacts but obviously forgot about it.

The scripture above outlines an idea of recounting the gracious deeds of the Lord in our lives. I do not know how well I would remember them to list them. I recall on occasion noting that some event was a God thing, but like the missing name with the telephone number the part I might remember at the end of the year may not be meaningful at all. The examine process in spiritual direction is a daily practice of reviewing for one thing where a person has seen God at work in his or her everyday life. One might recall a small act of kindness or a major turning point. All are important and remembering them reminds us of who we follow and who walks with us every step of our way.

Prayer: Lord, help me set aside time each day to examine my life to identifying and acknowledge the reality of your presence in my life. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Judgment

Kingdom Building

November 13, 2019

Scripture Reading: Psalm 98

Let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
   the world and those who live in it.
Let the floods clap their hands;
   let the hills sing together for joy
at the presence of the Lord, for he is coming
   to judge the earth.
He will judge the world with righteousness,
   and the peoples with equity. –Psalm 98:7-9

I do not know if most followers of Christ think of judgment as being out of sight out of mind or think of it as an archaic understanding of scripture or do not think of it at all. Certainly, we have moved beyond the hell fire and brimstone of former years at least in some churches. The Hebrew word translated judge above speaks to a final judgment when we each stand before God facing a review of our lives.

I personally think that we need to do such reckoning as we go. I supervised a lot of people in my career and always tried to have a final review when an employee retired or quit for whatever reason. These were often emotional meetings with some tears and some laughter as we remembered the successes and failures and fellowship that come with any job. There rarely were surprises in such interviews because we had faced the bad times and the good times together.

My goal is to have that kind of interview with God someday because I try to keep in touch with God everyday through self-evaluation and prayers for guidance, trying to reconcile the wrong turns I have made as I strive toward the goal Paul talks about here in Philippians:

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death, if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on towards the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:10-14)

Prayer: Walk with us Lord as we strive toward meeting the goals you have set before us. Help us see the better ways we may be missing. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Greed and Lust for Power

Lent
March 9, 2019

Scripture Reading: Luke 4:1-13

Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing at all during those days, and when they were over, he was famished. The devil said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become a loaf of bread.’ Jesus answered him, ‘It is written, “One does not live by bread alone.” ’

  Then the devil led him up and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And the devil said to him, ‘To you I will give their glory and all this authority; for it has been given over to me, and I give it to anyone I please. If you, then, will worship me, it will all be yours.’ Jesus answered him, ‘It is written,
“Worship the Lord your God,
   and serve only him.” ’ –Luke 4:1-8

I write a lot about greed and lust for power. Both are running unchecked, it would seem, throughout our land, perhaps throughout the world. Former President Jimmy Carter noted during the 2016 political campaign that the U.S. Is an ‘Oligarchy With Unlimited Political Bribery’*. I find it rather ironic that people spend millions of dollars to support politicians wanting them to reduce their tax burden. I have wondered if it would cost them less just to pay their fair share of taxes.

The story of Jesus’ sojourn in the desert dealing with the devil assures us that greed and lust for power are not new. They are as old as the Garden of Eden. Lent is our 40-day quest each year to search ourselves through the eyes of God and to intentionally turn away from that which separates us from God and renew a right spirit within ourselves**.

Prayer: O Lord, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
   you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down,
   and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
   O Lord, you know it completely.
You hem me in, behind and before,
   and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
   it is so high that I cannot attain it. –Psalm 139:1-6
Grant me glimpses of the truths I need to know about myself to refocus my life more clearly toward your vision. Amen.

*https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/jimmy-carter-u-s-is-an-oligarchy-with-unlimited-political-bribery-63262/
**Based on Psalm 51:10

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Counting Blessings

Jesus’ Ministry
February 10, 2019

Scripture Reading: Luke 5:1-11

But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, ‘Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!’ For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken; and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, ‘Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.’ When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him. –Luke 5:8-11

I coordinated planning for a human service agency for over 20 years spending much time pushing executives to set measurable goals and track their progress. Seeing what works and what does not can make work more productive. After I retired, I went through spiritual direction training and became enamored with the whole process of self-examination in our faith journey. Greeting each day with a review of my previous day and identifying ways to grow and improve for the current day became meaningful to me. Of course, no day rarely goes the way we plan. Being flexible toward goal attainment is part of the definition of planning. The important thing to examine is are we moving toward the desired outcome. The side effect is being amazed at what can be accomplished with God’s help and it is those blessings that give us the motive to keep going forward.

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Refrain:
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God has done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your many blessings, see what God has done*.

Prayer: Lord, thank grant us the flexibility to work toward the full fruition of your kingdom ruled by love. Amen.

*First verse an refrain from the hymn Count Your Blessings by Johnson Oatman, Jr. see at https://library.timelesstruths.org/music/Count_Your_Blessings/

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Cluttered Consciences

Jesus’ Ministry
January 23, 2019

Scripture Reading: Psalm 19

Moreover by the [laws, precepts, fear and ordinances of the Lord], is your servant warned;
   in keeping them there is great reward.
But who can detect their errors?
   Clear me from hidden faults.
Keep back your servant also from the insolent;
   do not let them have dominion over me.
Then I shall be blameless,
   and innocent of great transgression. Psalm 19:12-13

The sad truth is we are often the one who is less likely to discern our own errors. I thank God regularly for spell and grammar checkers. I am amazed at what I miss. Even these help sources miss some of my goofs. I make many of the same mistakes over and over. I key in the word “are” instead of “our” or vice versa. I am also bad about editing something that changes the tense of a noun and not noting that I also need to change the tense of the verb. My eighth-grade teacher would be appalled. I have also discovered that the rules of grammar have changed since I was in the eight-grade. I still refuse to add “’s” to make plural a word ending in “s” that has got to be against some permanent requirement of which the current grammar checkers are unaware. Is it possible that all aspects of my life may suffer from the same blindness? Where is my soul checker, where is my conscience checker, where is my values checker? Have any of these rules changed since they were first encoded into my being?

Christ exemplified the constant need to run a check on our attitudes and behavior. His interactions with others are often puzzling to his disciples who see the world through a different set of lenses than he. I love the story of Jesus and the Syrophoenician women* where he seems to model a change in his own perception of the stranger before our very eyes. Maintaining are relationship with God and practicing regular self-examination are important. Trying to envision ourselves in another person’s role for which we have little understanding also helps. Being intentional in our attitudes and behaviors helps refresh our cluttered consciences.

Prayer:
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
   be acceptable to you,
   O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.  Amen (Psalm 19:14)

*See Matthew 15:21-28

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Communing with God

Living in the Spirit
September 11, 2018

Scripture Reading: Proverbs 1:20-33

Then they will call upon me, but I will not answer;
   they will seek me diligently, but will not find me.
Because they hated knowledge
   and did not choose the fear of the Lord,
would have none of my counsel,
   and despised all my reproof,
therefore they shall eat the fruit of their way
   and be sated with their own devices.
For waywardness kills the simple,
   and the complacency of fools destroys them;
but those who listen to me will be secure
   and will live at ease, without dread of disaster.’ –Proverbs 1:28-33

We do pay the consequences of our own actions. We are capable of learning from our own mistakes. We can even learn from the mistakes of others and the success of quality mentors. I know I learned more about management from the good manager of the restaurant for which I worked in high school and college then I learned from all the management classes I had in college and graduate school even though those classes were also helpful. Applied learning proves itself. I also learned a whole lot about supervision of staff from observation and experience with some administrators who shall we say had not yet perfected the art of management.

How do we listen to the Lord? How do we extract from the Word, both the written word and the Word that is Christ the applied learning that we need to live fruitfully? How do we listen for God’s guidance in all we do and say even think?

While we all know it is easy to pick up bad habits; just repeat them enough and they become a part of us. The same applies in creating the good habits of routinely communing with God which can and will write that action as a habit on our hearts. I think building the simple habit of examining our day each evening with God allows God and entrance point to reshape us into the whole being God desires for us.

Prayer: God, strengthen my intentionality to develop fully my communion with you. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Falling into Sin

Living in the Spirit
July 24, 2018

Scripture Reading: 2 Samuel 11:1-15

In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab, and sent it by the hand of Uriah. In the letter he wrote, ‘Set Uriah in the forefront of the hardest fighting, and then draw back from him, so that he may be struck down and die.’ –2 Samuel 11:13-14

If committing adultery was not enough, David multiplied his wrongdoing by arranging to have his lover’s husband killed.

O, what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive! (Walter Scott) *

Sin begets more sin and eventually backs us into a corner where we see sin as our only choice. By that time, it may not seem like sin at all. We live in a society caught in that corner where I think some begin to justify their actions as right just because they were the ones doing it. I sat alone in a cubical at my dentist’s office recently waiting for the Novocain to work and could not help but overhear the conversation from the next cubical. I first heard the dentist explain that two teeth on one side were rotten to the bone and would have to come out but he thought one tooth on the other side of the patient’s mouth could be saved with a root canal.  In the conversation, the patient asked why the dentist had not caught the damage earlier. After a few seconds, the dentist said, “You have not been here for a checkup for four years.” A few minutes later I heard a woman’s voice explaining how much the treatment was going to cost. We get so caught up in life that we do not take the time to do the preventive care necessary to remain as healthy as possible as we age. The same thing could be said for the care of our souls.

Routine self-examination of our relationship with God and following God’s way is important. Daily review of our thoughts and actions is helpful. Journaling what we identify is a good idea. Taking the time to review one’s journal to look for patterns of behavior, good or bad, that are impacting our lives is useful. More than anything else, confession to God in prayer of anything we do that separates us from God is imperative.

Prayer: Holy One, rest heavy on my conscience when I am tempted to pull away from you. When I feel lost, help me find a right path, when I am bored or disillusioned with my life, shine a light on something needing my touch. Amen.

*See at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/walter_scott_118003

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.

Learning from Mistakes

Living in the Spirit
June 11, 2018

Scripture Reading: 1 Samuel 15:34-16:13

Then Samuel went to Ramah; and Saul went up to his house in Gibeah of Saul. Samuel did not see Saul again until the day of his death, but Samuel grieved over Saul. And the Lord was sorry that he had made Saul king over Israel.
–1 Samuel 15:34-35

Humans make mistakes and God lets us. Sometimes we learn from our mistakes and that is a good thing. It is the times that we do not learn from our mistakes that should concern us. When we make mistakes, we experience a variety of emotional responses: anger, humiliation, shame, embarrassment, even fear. I backed out of farm driveway without paying much attention to what was behind me and backed into a drainage ditch burying my back wheels. I had to enlist the aid of the sick farmer I was visiting to pull me out and send me on my way. I felt all those listed emotions. I was a young social worker making one of my first home visits.

I have not thought much about my mistakes making the Lord sorry but the words from Handel’s Messiah sourced from Isaiah 53:3 supports the idea. He was despised and rejected, a man of sorrow and acquainted with grief. We can take comfort in the knowledge that the Lord knows exactly how we have erred and how we feel about it, and he loves us anyway. While we may be required to deal with others who may not be as magnanimous, God will always stand with us and if we welcome God, God can show us how to deal with those mistakes and learn from them.

I also can identify with Samuel. He had given in to the demands of the people knowing that their desire for a king was not the right solution to their situation at the time. It is hard for most of us to own the responsibility that changes in our behavior is often the answer to problems we face. I spent some time recently with a person who is dealing with some real challenges, but all the person’s proposed solutions required work on other people’s part over which the person had no control.

Being honest with ourselves as we examine our lives each day is a great place to start a quest for a better life and a better world.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for your loving guidance and mercy. Help me examine myself and to apply the things I learn from my mistakes to future actions. Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.